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Birth, death and everything in between…

Birth, death and everything in between…

The last few weeks have been filled with important occurrences.

The 4th birthday of my daughter, the anniversary of the death of my brother and.. most importantly the birth of my new little nephew…

He’s called Ralphie and his middle name is Kevin, after my brother, who died. And he’s totally mesmerising. He was huge! 8lb 11oz here in the UK and 3.94  KG for those of you elsewhere… And my sister – for the record – is tiny. A UK size 6 and a very petite person. She’s a super-star.

Life’s made up of many of these little and not so little events. While birth and death are completely seismic, birthdays are beautiful little rituals. All are important –  they are extraordinary, key moments that offer us chances to love a little more… And keep us in tune with the natural rhythms of life.

Smack bang in the middle of these events, a few days after the birth of my nephew, my younger sister began to feel unwell. She had constant cramp in one of her sides. And after much pain and being unable to walk. She left her baby at home with her partner and went off to A&E with our mum.  The following day (in between pumping lots of breast milk), she went down to theatre and they removed her appendix and some debris from her fallopian tube.  She is absolutely fine now and we have an excellent health service here (lucky for us).  Something we take for granted a little. She was back home breastfeeding her little soldier by the next evening. This luck might not have been granted to our sisters across the globe in poorer places or to those women living in refugee camps.

Life is strange…in that it has so many twists and turns, ups and downs, but what makes it all seem right, okay and beautiful is family. Strong or not, together or not, dysfunctional or not. Of course, we are not always strong. Things fall apart, people fall apart, life comes apart at the seams. We get caught up in our own drama’s and others….

But where would we be without it all?  Life’s happenings are the heartbeat that pump us up in the present, and keep us going. Whether that be forwards, side-wards or backwards for a time. Then there’s stoppage time and downtime. Play time and love time. Time to reflect and time to re-evaluate.

Life always offers us beautiful chances to go a little deeper… For me it’s all about the appreciation of it all…

Have a brave, beautiful week…

Kerrie xox

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Just enjoying being mummy…

Why I’m just enjoying being ‘mummy’ more than ever..

I have really been enjoying motherhood lately. It isn’t that I don’t always enjoy it (although sometimes it sucks right…??!!) It’s that I’ve spent a lot of the past couple of years being a little bit too busy and always in a rush. I’ve heard myself on many occasions say to my little girl…’I haven’t got time now, darling’.. or ‘Later honey, mummy’s really busy right now’.. Only to see her little face crumple with disappointment. Last week she even said to me ‘you like playing with Freddie (the dog) more than me…’ and this broke my heart a little.

And of course, we are all busy. I don’t have other kids, but most of my friends do, and I see how busy they are. I have one little girl and she keeps me on my toes.. along side my business and doggie. I also realised I’ve been concerned about so many little things about parenthood that are quite frankly not worth worrying about.. Again, I know we can all do this as mums.. It’s our instinct and it’s nature.

But I’ve been thinking about what’s really important.. What stuff to sweat and what stuff to not…

I’ve been talking to my Sacred & Sexy Community about this and I love some of the beautiful and poignant insights they’ve given us…

Here’s the gist… 

  • Not worrying about rigid bed times all the time. Letting them sleep in your bed when they need to and giving them extra cuddles at night as they drop off.
  • Trusting yourself more as their mum and not relying on books and other peoples opinions and parenting ideals as law.
  • Stop worrying about the feeding and weening as much as we do. They will tell us when they are hungry and they will eat when they are hungry. Let them experiment at their own pace.
  • Getting to know them, really accepting that they are their own little personalities with their own wants and loves and needs and that we shouldn’t be pushing our needs on to them at all times.

I know, it’s not always realistic to just let it all go and live like there is only the present moment. We all need to get to bed and get up in the morning with other responsibilities.. For me it’s been about finding the balance.

It’s also about understanding and trusting that children are passing through lots of phases very quickly, and this is far more stressful for them than it is for us…

Here are some lovely quotes on being a little more mindful… 

“I wish I had known back the how to stay in the moment more with my little one. To not worry about my to do lists as much as I did but to devote concentrated mindful moments daily with little distraction. My first child had special needs as well and I spent a lot of time worrying for his future. He is a teenager and doing fantastic- didn’t need to worry!” Juliana Hauser Mills Morris 

“Enjoy every day cause it passes so quick, the house work work and washing can wait but smiles and hugs don’t.” Maureen O’Toole

“I wish I had been more present. I was busy cooking, cleaning, working etc and I really wish I had spent more time just looking into his eyes and appreciated him even more. It took me a long time to really understand that I should parent the child he is, not the child I think he should be. He was and still is an awesome, amazing human being that has taught me so much.” Lorraine Nylund

For me, I’m learning to embrace these times of toddlerhood. The imperfect day to day rhythms.  The 1000 times we have to read a single story, the night-time pillow chats about which what type of fairies we are, the ridiculously early morning chats about what our favourite breakfasts are and the general mundane stuff that will, in time, be distant memories…

If you’d like to join a tribe of beautiful, mindful, passionate women from all over the world, who are the game-changers then click here .

Big, beautiful, brave love,

Kerrie xox